Define "chronic" masturbator.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
