Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
