It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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