if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
