I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
