Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
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