We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
