her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
