But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
