i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
