Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Randomize
