operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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