McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
FUCK WHALES
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
