you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize