to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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