ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
