i jhust puked up my retainher.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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