I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
