Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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