I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
