you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
