thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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