imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize