apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
