I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize