ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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