He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
