I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
