If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
