Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
