its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
