There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
