I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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