Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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