Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Still dying that you shit outside
Randomize
