You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
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