he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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