hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
