Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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