You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
