I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
