Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
