I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
