Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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