I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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