i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
