Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
