Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
