i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
