So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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