Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize