I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
