They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
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