our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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