I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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