Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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