there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize