She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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