Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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