I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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