he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
