I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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