Since when is my name a synonym for head?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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