I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Randomize
