I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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