why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
