A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
