I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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