You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Are we still banned from the library?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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